{"id":951,"date":"2013-10-31T09:22:38","date_gmt":"2013-10-31T07:22:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/?p=951"},"modified":"2013-11-01T10:43:18","modified_gmt":"2013-11-01T08:43:18","slug":"prezident-se-zranil-protoze-po-nocich-beha-kvuli-spermiim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/?p=951","title":{"rendered":"Zeman si ni\u010d\u00ed zdrav\u00ed sportem! Kv\u016fli spermi\u00edm"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
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\"NA

NA VYSO\u010cIN\u011a. Lid\u00e9 v Nov\u00e9m Vesel\u00ed na \u017d\u010f\u00e1rsku znaj\u00ed Milo\u0161e Zemana jako v\u00e1\u0161niv\u00e9ho cyklistu.<\/em><\/p><\/div><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

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\"kefir\"<\/a>

CO S T\u00cdM? Zdrav\u00e9mu potomstvu je t\u0159eba leccos pod\u0159\u00eddit. Ale i kef\u00edr m\u016f\u017ee zkvasit…<\/em><\/p><\/div><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

L\u00e1ny, Praha<\/em> \u2013 Zran\u011bn\u00ed prav\u00e9ho kolene, kv\u016fli n\u011bmu\u017e se prezident Milo\u0161 Zeman musel sv\u011b\u0159it do p\u00e9\u010de \u00a0l\u00e9ka\u0159\u016f z\u00a0kliniky v\u00a0Praze-Motole, potvrdilo to, o \u010dem se u\u017e del\u0161\u00ed dobu zat\u00edm jen nesm\u011ble \u0161t\u011bbetalo \u2013 Zeman sportuje!!! \u201eV noci, pravd\u011bpodobn\u011b kdy\u017e b\u011b\u017eel na toaletu, narazil do zdi,\u201c uvedl ve st\u0159edu na mimo\u0159\u00e1dn\u00e9 tiskov\u00e9 konferenci Martin Holc\u00e1t, \u0161\u00e9f dvan\u00e1cti\u010dlenn\u00e9ho prezidentova l\u00e9ka\u0159sk\u00e9ho konzilia a p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitostn\u00fd ministr zdravotnictv\u00ed. \u201eKam jsem b\u011b\u017eel, si u\u017e moc nepamatuji, proto\u017ee jsem narazil do zdi i hlavou. Ale v\u00a0koleni m\u00e1m po\u0161kozen\u00fd meniskus a v\u00fdron. Nikoli v\u0161ak semene, jak byste se pane redaktore p\u0159i sv\u00e9 inteligenci bezpochyby domn\u00edval, ale t\u011bln\u00edch tekutin,\u201c popsal Zeman na p\u0159\u00edm\u00fd dotaz s\u00a0t\u00edm, \u017ee je po ve\u010derech zvykl\u00fd sportovat a o \u00farazy proto nen\u00ed nouze.<\/p>\n

Podle fyzioterapeuta Pavla Kol\u00e1\u0159e, dal\u0161\u00edho \u010dlena Zemanova l\u00e9ka\u0159sk\u00e9ho t\u00fdmu, bylo v\u00e1\u017en\u00e9 zran\u011bn\u00e9 zp\u016fsobeno p\u0159i sportu. \u201eAno, pana prezidenta lze v\u00a0posledn\u00ed dob\u011b pova\u017eovat za sportovce. Pravideln\u011b b\u011bh\u00e1 a jezd\u00ed na kole, m\u00e1 vypracov\u00e1n p\u0159esn\u00fd tr\u00e9ninkov\u00fd pl\u00e1n, do n\u011bho\u017e zapadaj\u00ed i no\u010dn\u00ed sprinty na piso\u00e1r,\u201c popsal Kol\u00e1\u0159.<\/p>\n

\u201eTento \u00faraz je klasick\u00fdm p\u0159\u00edkladem\u00a0 takzvan\u00e9ho migruj\u00edc\u00edho tenisov\u00e9ho lokte, v\u00a0tomto p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b aplikovan\u00e9ho na koleno. Migruj\u00edc\u00ed jedinec jak my \u0159\u00edk\u00e1me migne kolenem do nemigruj\u00edc\u00ed p\u0159ek\u00e1\u017eky \u2013 v\u00a0tomto p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b zdi – a hned je tu probl\u00e9m. S\u00a0obdobn\u00fdm zran\u011bn\u00edm za mnou sv\u00e9ho \u010dasu p\u0159i\u0161el i Niki Lauda, kter\u00fd se bolestiv\u011b klepl o formuli 1,\u201c uvedl Kol\u00e1\u0159, kter\u00fd m\u00e1 sice v\u00a0kompetenci zejm\u00e9na Zemanovy palce, ale zjevn\u011b se nezalekne ani d\u016fsledk\u016f prezidentsk\u00e9 migrace. \u201eSportu se samoz\u0159ejm\u011b nevzd\u00e1m, ale v trase budeme asi muset ud\u011blat n\u011bjak\u00e9 erekce, pardon korekce,\u201c doplnil Zeman.<\/p>\n

\u0160tamgasti z\u00a0hospody U prezidenta v\u00a0Nov\u00e9m Vesel\u00ed na Vyso\u010din\u011b ale tvrd\u00ed, \u017ee Zeman za\u010dal s\u00a0t\u011blocvikem u\u017e p\u0159ed prezidentskou volbou. \u201eBylo to a\u017e komick\u00e9. Po\u0159\u00e1d se v\u00e1lel v\u00a0kn\u00ed\u017ek\u00e1ch a najednou p\u00e1dloval po rybn\u00edku, jezdil na ukrajin\u011b a dokonce i do obchodu chodil p\u011b\u0161ky. No a kdy\u017e se picnul, v\u017edycky drmolil, \u017ee je ho tady \u0161koda a je t\u0159eba \u0161\u00ed\u0159it d\u00e1l jeho genialitu,\u201c popsal soused, kter\u00fd si z\u00a0obav ze z\u00e1visti jin\u00fdch soused\u016f nep\u0159\u00e1l b\u00fdt jmenov\u00e1n.<\/p>\n

JE DOBR\u00c9 MNO\u017dIT PREZIDENTY?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Prezidentsk\u00e1 kancel\u00e1\u0159 k\u00a0biologick\u00fdm okolnostem \u017eivota hlavy st\u00e1tu zpravidla ml\u010d\u00ed, ale v\u00a0tomto p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b je a\u017e p\u0159ekvapiv\u011b sd\u00edln\u00e1. \u201ePan prezident je nesm\u00edrn\u011b aktivn\u00ed ve v\u0161ech oblastech \u017eivota, tedy i ve sportu,\u201c sd\u011blila kancel\u00e1\u0159 v\u00a0tiskov\u00e9 zpr\u00e1v\u011b. \u201ePokud j\u00e1 v\u00edm, tak chce m\u00edt zdrav\u00e9 spermie. A taky nechce, aby mu utekla \u017eena s\u00a0jeho kancl\u00e9\u0159em, kter\u00fd je voln\u00fd, proto\u017ee mu utekla \u017eena s kucha\u0159em,\u201c doplnil zjevn\u011b dob\u0159e informovan\u00fd b\u00fdval\u00fd tajemn\u00edk b\u00fdval\u00e9ho prezidenta V\u00e1clava Klause, kter\u00fd se rozhodl vypov\u00eddat v p\u0159estrojen\u00ed. \u201ePr\u00fd chce zaplavit sv\u011bt geni\u00e1ln\u00edmi potomky, skoro ka\u017ed\u00fd den odch\u00e1z\u00ed z\u00a0Hradu nebo z\u00a0L\u00e1n z\u00e1silka do spermabanky,\u201c doplnil Jakl.<\/p>\n

Akademik Jarmil Tvrd\u00edk z\u00a0\u00dastavu biologie obratlovc\u016f by v\u0161ak prezidenta u\u017e rozhodn\u011b nemno\u017eil. \u201eI mezi zdrav\u00fdmi mu\u017ei m\u00e1 dneska \u010dty\u0159icet procent jedinc\u016f n\u011bjak\u00fdm zp\u016fsobem nekvalitn\u00ed sperma. Jak\u00e9 chudinky tedy musej\u00ed b\u00fdt asi tak spermie diabetika s\u00a0celo\u017eivotn\u00ed \u017eivotospr\u00e1vou \u0161t\u011btinat\u00e9ho dealera kumysu ze Sibi\u0159e?\u201c pt\u00e1 se a jedn\u00edm dechem dod\u00e1v\u00e1: \u201eNa takov\u00e9 experimenty pozor! Tohle je pro lidstvo \u010dasovan\u00e1 bomba a nezachr\u00e1n\u00ed to ani hypertrofovan\u00e9 sebev\u011bdom\u00ed a samolibost.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Pesimismus neskr\u00fdv\u00e1 ani dal\u0161\u00ed z\u00a0\u010dlen\u016f Zemanova l\u00e9ka\u0159sk\u00e9ho t\u00fdmu odborn\u00edk\u016f, prim\u00e1\u0159 bohnick\u00e9 protialkoholn\u00ed l\u00e9\u010debny Karel Ne\u0161por. \u201eKdy\u017e jsem se tohle sly\u0161el, tak jsem pou\u017eil snad v\u0161ech t\u0159i sta patn\u00e1ct zn\u00e1m\u00fdch druh\u016f sm\u00edchu, ale rychle m\u011b to p\u0159e\u0161lo. N\u011bco jako obdoba \u017eensk\u00e9ho klimakteria potk\u00e1 \u0159adu mu\u017e\u016f, ale zde vid\u00edme hodn\u011b siln\u00fd pr\u016fb\u011bh. Nav\u00edc nen\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e9 l\u00e9ka\u0159sk\u00e9 tajemstv\u00ed, \u017ee pan prezident po\u0159\u00e1d sos\u00e1 a jestli bude takhle pokra\u010dovat, tak budeme na odd\u011blen\u00ed brzy chystat prezidentsk\u00e9 apartm\u00e1,\u201c uzav\u0159el Ne\u0161por.<\/p>\n

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Zran\u011bn\u00ed prav\u00e9ho kolene, kv\u016fli n\u011bmu\u017e se prezident Milo\u0161 Zeman musel sv\u011b\u0159it do p\u00e9\u010de l\u00e9ka\u0159\u016f z kliniky v Praze-Motole, potvrdilo to, o \u010dem se u\u017e del\u0161\u00ed dobu zat\u00edm jen nesm\u011ble \u0161t\u011bbetalo \u2013 Zeman sportuje!!! >>><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16],"tags":[32,30,31,29],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/951"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=951"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/951\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":990,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/951\/revisions\/990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=951"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=951"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=951"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}