{"id":609,"date":"2013-08-08T12:33:24","date_gmt":"2013-08-08T10:33:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/?p=609"},"modified":"2014-09-01T08:55:29","modified_gmt":"2014-09-01T06:55:29","slug":"hyeni-poemy-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/?p=609","title":{"rendered":"Hyen\u00ed poemy"},"content":{"rendered":"

BALADA O O\u010c\u00cdCH PRASETOV\u00ddCH<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Na p\u0159edm\u011bst\u00ed Pa\u0159\u00ed\u017ee
\n\u017eere prase lan\u00fd\u017ee<\/span>.<\/span>
\n A\u010d vzne\u0161en\u00fdm zd\u00e1 se,
\npo\u0159\u00e1d je to prase…<\/span><\/p>\n

P\u0158\u00cdHODA Z ASIE<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Ukecali Okamuru<\/span>
\n ku n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bv\u011b Bajkonuru.<\/span>
\n Ty, tyhlety …nosi\u010de…<\/span>
\n …by odnesly dost l\u00edd\u00ed do pry\u010de??<\/span><\/p>\n

Goebbels\u016fv probl\u00e9m<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Krucin\u00e1l, tak to jsou mi jobovky. <\/span>
\n Baarov\u00e1 s Braunovou jsou lesby. \u2026a taky \u017didovky\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Z hl\u00e1\u0161en\u00ed velvyslance Vladim\u00edra Remka:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Potkal jsem Lewinskou.
\n…Ano, tu ze st\u00e1\u017ee.<\/span>
\n Ta je\u0161t\u011b sv\u011btu ledacos uk\u00e1\u017ee.<\/span>
\n \u0158\u00edk\u00e1 mi: V\u00ed\u0161 jak chutn\u00e1 Putin?<\/span>
\n Tak toho si z\u00edtra d\u00e1m s chut\u00ed!<\/span><\/p>\n

PA\u0158BA V KABINETU GEOMETRIE<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Situace se stala zmate\u010dnou,<\/span>
\n kdy\u017e Venca blil na odv\u011bsnu pod te\u010dnou.<\/span>
\n P\u0159itom se oto\u010dil za sle\u010dnou,<\/span>
\n a ta se t\u00edm hned stala zbyte\u010dnou…<\/span><\/p>\n

P\u0158\u00cdHODA Z EVROPSK\u00c9HO PARLAMENTU<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Vladim\u00edra Remka<\/span>
\n se sna\u017e\u00ed sbalit N\u011bmka.<\/span>
\n \u2026a na d\u016fv\u011brn\u00fdch sch\u016fzk\u00e1ch<\/span>
\n mu tvrd\u00ed, \u017ee je z Ruska\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

PAST<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Holky se m\u011b \u0161t\u00edt\u00ed<\/span>
\n i na soci\u00e1ln\u00ed s\u00edti.<\/span>
\n \u2026asi v\u00ed, \u017ee od jara<\/span>
\n m\u00e1m na \u0159iti be\u010fara.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Milo\u0161ova jistota<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Nad korunova\u010dn\u00ed klenoty<\/span>
\n vznes virus opar n\u011bmoty.<\/span>
\n Na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed nejsme u\u017e daleko od Hradu.<\/span>
\n …a hlavu kdy\u017etak op\u0159u si o bradu…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Karol\u00ednu Peake chyt zlej trpasleake.<\/span>
\n Vzala to v\u0161ak s klidem:<\/span>
\n „Hlavn\u011b m\u011b vra\u0165 k LIDEM!“<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Jak na to<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Pt\u00e1 se Je\u017e\u00ed\u0161 Mohameda:<\/span>
\n Ty, ten d\u017eih\u00e1d… Je to v\u011bda?<\/span>
\n No, osvi\u0165 si p\u00e1r k\u0159i\u017e\u00e1k\u016f<\/span>
\n …a nech je bouchnout ve vlaku!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Na kongresu funebr\u00e1k\u016f<\/span>
\n vl\u00edtlo hovno do v\u011btr\u00e1ku.<\/span>
\n Ostraha uren se zd\u00e1 b\u00fdti<\/span>
\n pon\u011bkud lhostejn\u00e1<\/span>
\n a tak pan prezident m\u00e1 kn\u00edra od lejna.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Co p\u00ed\u0161e Str\u00e1\u017en\u00e1 v\u011b\u017e<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

P\u0159ed o\u010dima sv\u011bdk\u016f<\/span>
\n sbalil sv\u011bdek \u0161t\u011btku.<\/span>
\n V\u0161ichni sv\u011bdci v\u00ed to z novin,<\/span>
\n kter\u00fd pat\u0159\u00ed Jehovovi.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Pro svou osobn\u00ed pot\u011bchu<\/span>
\n si t\u00e1ta po\u0159\u00eddil macechu.<\/span>
\n …a \u017ee se s n\u00edm i synek ztoto\u017enil<\/span>
\n chod\u00ed te\u010f v\u0161ichni na ko\u017en\u00ed…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ot\u0159esn\u00fd z\u00e1\u017eitek z Afg\u00e1nist\u00e1nu<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Prost\u0159ednictv\u00edm otv\u016frku<\/span>
\n vet\u0159el jsem se pod burku.<\/span>
\n Podcenil jsem ji, potv\u016frku.<\/span>
\n …u\u017e tam m\u011bla okurku…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Cel\u00fd gang m\u00e1 gangr\u00e9nu,<\/span>
\n p\u0159it\u00e1h si to z ter\u00e9nu.<\/span>
\n Venca, Tonda, ba i Ma\u0159ena<\/span>
\n … je dneska jak zka\u017een\u00e1…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

V TV hovo\u0159il kn\u011bz bigotn\u00ed<\/span>
\n na t\u00e9ma, kterak jsme my lidi nicotn\u00ed.<\/span>
\n Prach jsem, vole,<\/span>
\n a v prach se obr\u00e1t\u00edm.<\/span>
\n Jo, a ty prachy ti t\u00edm p\u00e1dem u\u017e asi nevr\u00e1t\u00edm…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sen prav\u011bk\u00fdho indi\u00e1na<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

A\u017e chyt\u00edm mamuta<\/span>
\n s nejdel\u0161\u00edm chobotem<\/span>
\n pov\u011bs\u00edm tomahawk na totem<\/span>
\n …a za\u010dnu \u017e\u00edt usedl\u00fdm \u017eivotem<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

V\u011b\u0159\u00edm<\/strong><\/span>
\n V\u011b\u0159\u00edm, \u017ee B\u016fh JE<\/span>
\n V\u011b\u0159\u00edm, \u017ee B\u016fh JE opravdu v\u011b\u0159\u00edc\u00ed.<\/span>
\n Bez v\u00edry v z\u00e1zrak by jinak snad nestvo\u0159il<\/span>
\n …takovou slepici!<\/span><\/p>\n

V\u00fdbuch ve v\u00fdrobn\u011b trhavin byl zni\u010duj\u00edc\u00ed.<\/span>
\n Podkopal i pracovn\u00ed mor\u00e1lku pracuj\u00edc\u00edch…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Z nekrologu nekrofila:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

…u\u017e zbavil se sv\u00e9 chronick\u00e9 r\u00fdmy<\/span>
\n a kone\u010dn\u011b je mezi sv\u00fdmi…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

St\u0159et ploskolebc\u016f<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

M\u011bl jsem sen, ve kter\u00fdm skinheadsk\u00fd milice<\/span>
\n holily m\u00e1ni\u010dk\u00e1m palice.<\/span>
\n V m\u00fdm p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b ov\u0161em u\u017e na sk\u00edna<\/span>
\n \u010dekala vlasat\u00e1 lysina.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Anatomick\u00e1 p\u0159e<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Zh\u00e1dal jsem se s V\u00edtkem<\/span>
\n na t\u00e9ma kosti stydk\u00e9.<\/span>
\n Mus\u00edm te\u010f na kurz anatomie.<\/span>
\n …snad si to ve\u010der Anna omyje\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A\u017e jednou v pekle potk\u00e1m Leonida Ilji\u010de Bre\u017en\u011bva,<\/span>
\n zept\u00e1m se, zda se na m\u011b nehn\u011bv\u00e1.<\/span>
\n J\u00e1, hrd\u00fd pion\u00fdr, jsem za n\u011bj kdysi dr\u017eel tryznu.<\/span>
\n Ale m\u00e1lo jsem lkal a t\u011b\u0161il se a\u017e odca\u010f zmiznu.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

a Je\u017e\u00ed\u0161 d\u011bl:<\/span>
\n A\u0165 nev\u011b\u0159\u00edc\u00ed(m) opuchnou!<\/span>
\n Vi\u010f M\u00e1\u0159i?<\/span>
\n A my se m\u016f\u017eem pod duchnou<\/span>
\n …hned sp\u00e1\u0159it…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Na matematicko-fyzik\u00e1ln\u00ed fakult\u011b<\/span>
\n do\u0161lo ku smilstvu.<\/span>
\n P\u0159\u00edmo v u\u010debn\u011b na pult\u011b.<\/span>
\n No, zas tak divn\u00fd to prej\u017ee v\u0161ak nen\u00ed.<\/span>
\n …to jen pan asistent<\/span>
\n p\u0159edv\u00e1d\u011bl studentce t\u0159en\u00ed…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

velkohubej lazar<\/strong><\/span>
\n A\u017e jednou vstanu z kole\u010dkov\u00fd sesle<\/span>
\n zvednu se …a d\u00e1m Messimu jesle.<\/span><\/p>\n

…a star\u0161\u00ed trakt\u00e1ty na www.bystrahyena.cz\/zvraty<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BALADA O O\u010c\u00cdCH PRASETOV\u00ddCH Na p\u0159edm\u011bst\u00ed Pa\u0159\u00ed\u017ee \u017eere prase lan\u00fd\u017ee. A\u010d vzne\u0161en\u00fdm zd\u00e1 se, po\u0159\u00e1d je to prase… P\u0158\u00cdHODA Z ASIE Ukecali Okamuru ku n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bv\u011b Bajkonuru. Ty, tyhlety …nosi\u010de… …by odnesly dost l\u00edd\u00ed do pry\u010de?? Goebbels\u016fv probl\u00e9m Krucin\u00e1l, tak to jsou mi jobovky. Baarov\u00e1 s Braunovou jsou lesby. \u2026a taky \u017didovky\u2026 Z hl\u00e1\u0161en\u00ed velvyslance Vladim\u00edra […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[20],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=609"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1803,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609\/revisions\/1803"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=609"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=609"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=609"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}