{"id":1981,"date":"2015-06-12T10:58:34","date_gmt":"2015-06-12T08:58:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/?p=1981"},"modified":"2015-06-13T18:50:18","modified_gmt":"2015-06-13T16:50:18","slug":"chladek-milos-zeman-je-lahodny-cesky-patron","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/?p=1981","title":{"rendered":"Milo\u0161 Zeman je lahodn\u00fd \u010desk\u00fd patron, \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 Chl\u00e1dek"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n
<\/td>\n\"milda450\"<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Praha<\/em> \u2013 Kolos\u00e1ln\u00ed \u00fasp\u011bch ujet\u00e9 reklamn\u00ed kampan\u011b na nepiteln\u00e9 pivo nez\u016fstal bez pov\u0161imnut\u00ed ani na Hrad\u011b. Experti z hradn\u00edho antiskand\u00e1ln\u00e1ho t\u00fdmu rozhodli: Zeman se omluv\u00ed kav\u00e1rensk\u00fdm mudrc\u016fm, a bude obl\u00edben\u00fd! „Milo\u0161 Zeman je nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00edm patronem nejen t\u00e9to zem\u011b, ale cel\u00e9 na\u0161\u00ed civilizace,“ vysv\u011btlil Zeman\u016fv kancl\u00e9\u0159-lokaj Vratislav Myn\u00e1\u0159.<\/p>\n

Pl\u00e1n s okop\u00edrov\u00e1n\u00edm kampan\u011b, kv\u016fli n\u00ed\u017e jihoafri\u010dt\u00ed chemici museli dokonce jednu v\u00e1rku Gambrinusu vyrobit ze sladu a chmele, vyd\u00e1vali ji za imagin\u00e1rn\u00ed lok\u00e1ln\u00ed lah\u016fdku Patron a piva\u0159\u016fm se za to pak naoko hluboce omlouvali, v\u0161ak narazil hned v po\u010d\u00e1tku. „Prezident se neomlouv\u00e1. Ani Peroutkovi, ani \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e9mu jin\u00e9mu kret\u00e9novi z jak\u00e9koli redakce, kav\u00e1rny \u010di \u017eumpy. Zkr\u00e1tka to mus\u00edte vymyslet jinak,“ reagoval podle dob\u0159e neinformovan\u00e9ho zdroje s\u00e1m Zeman.<\/p>\n

\u010cesk\u00e1 politick\u00e1 sc\u00e9na m\u00e1 v\u0161ak na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed schopnost generovat nesm\u00edrn\u011b zdatn\u00e9 talenty, a tak bylo \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed bl\u00ed\u017e,\u00a0 ne\u017e se zd\u00e1lo – paraleln\u00edm mluv\u010d\u00edm prezidenta se stane pou\u017eit\u00fd exministr \u0161kolstv\u00ed Marcel Chl\u00e1dek. Ten bude m\u00edt oproti Ji\u0159\u00edmu Ov\u010d\u00e1\u010dkovi, ji\u017e del\u0161\u00ed \u010das paralyzovan\u00e9mu Peroutkov\u00fdm syndromem, na starost hlavn\u011b budov\u00e1n\u00ed pozitivn\u00ed prezidentovy image. \u017de je odborn\u00edkem na prav\u00e9m m\u00edst\u011b, potvrdil hned na prvn\u00ed tiskov\u00e9 konferenci v nov\u00e9 funkci. „Prezident Cesk\u00e9 republiky pan Milo\u0161 Zeman je lahodn\u00fd jako patron,“ sd\u011blil novin\u00e1\u0159\u016fm Chl\u00e1dek.<\/p>\n

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Omluva \u010desk\u00e9 kav\u00e1rn\u011b<\/h1>\n

V\u00e1\u017een\u00ed inteligenti! Cht\u011bli bychom se v\u00e1m omluvit za to, \u017ee jsme n\u011bkter\u00e9 z\u00a0v\u00e1s uvedli v\u00a0omyl.<\/p>\n

Prezidenta, kter\u00e9ho jste m\u011bli mo\u017enost poznat, jsme nijak neupravovali. Jeho \u010desk\u00fd p\u016fvod je skute\u010dn\u00fd, stejn\u011b jako to, \u017ee poch\u00e1z\u00ed z\u00a0moravsk\u00fdch \u0161vestek, z \u010desk\u00e9ho chmele, sladu a becherovky.<\/p>\n

Prezident, kter\u00e9ho jsme vyd\u00e1vali za dobytka, byl ve skute\u010dnosti patron. Patron \u010de\u0161stv\u00ed v\u00a0t\u00e9 nejryzej\u0161\u00ed podob\u011b, jeho\u017e v\u0161ichni znaj\u00ed pod jm\u00e9nem Zeman. A\u017e dosud kolovalo o na\u0161em prezidentovi mnoho \u0159e\u010d\u00ed, ale m\u00e1lo fakt\u016f. Musel tedy p\u0159ij\u00edt n\u011bkdo, kdo tomuto \u00fa\u0159adu vr\u00e1t\u00ed hrdost, d\u016fstojnost a dobrou pov\u011bst. S\u00a0t\u00edm jste n\u00e1m pomohli i vy, a pat\u0159\u00ed v\u00e1m za to velk\u00fd d\u00edk.<\/p>\n

P\u0159ijm\u011bte tedy pros\u00edm na\u0161i omluvu za tento lehce kontroverzn\u00ed krok. V\u011b\u0159\u00edme, \u017ee i vy se nad t\u00edm nakonec usm\u011bjete a p\u0159ijmete pozv\u00e1n\u00ed na Hrad, kde na v\u00e1s \u010dek\u00e1 pivo na n\u00e1\u0161 \u00fa\u010det.<\/p>\n

za Kancel\u00e1\u0159 prezidenta republiky PhDr. Marcel Chl\u00e1dek, MBA, v. r.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>\n

<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
ANKETA:<\/span><\/strong> Je Milo\u0161 Zeman dobr\u00fd prezident?<\/span><\/em><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Karel Schwarzenberg
\n<\/em><\/span><\/em><\/strong>\u0161lechtic<\/em><\/span><\/td>\n		\"karl\"<\/a><\/td>\nNen\u00ed to \u0161patnej prezident, ale trochu moc chlast\u00e1. \u0158\u00edk\u00e1 na plnou hubu to, co si ostatn\u00ed jen mysl\u00ed. J\u00e1 mysl\u00edm, \u017ee se p\u0159\u00e1tel\u00ed s nejr\u016fzn\u011bj\u0161\u00edmi typy, se zlod\u011bji i kurvami, se v\u0161\u00edm mo\u017en\u00fdm. Ale m\u00e1 je odpozorovan\u00fd, to je vid\u011bt. Pokud v\u00edm, tak se v posledn\u00ed dob\u011b p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 nevo\u017eral a ani ho nikdo nevyfotil s \u017e\u00e1dnou holkou.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Jan Veleba<\/em><\/strong><\/span>
\nemeritn\u00ed zem\u011bd\u011blec
\na sen\u00e1tor
\n<\/em><\/span><\/td>\n		\"jenda\"<\/a><\/td>\nMilo\u0161 Zeman obsahuje v\u016fbec nejvy\u0161\u0161\u00ed pod\u00edl dom\u00e1c\u00edch surovin ze v\u0161ech vlada\u0159\u016f v \u010desk\u00e9 historii. V sou\u010dasn\u00e9 dob\u011b pracujeme na rozboru, zda prezidentovy tukov\u00e9 z\u00e1soby spl\u0148uj\u00ed t\u0159icetiprocentn\u00ed kv\u00f3tu moravsk\u00e9ho p\u016fvodu, ale to je vzhledem k jeho z\u00e1lib\u00e1m mysl\u00edm jen formalita.
\n<\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Dalaj
\nL\u00e1ma<\/strong><\/span>
\ndalajl\u00e1ma<\/em><\/span><\/td>\n		\"dalalmama\"<\/td>\nPan Zeman nen\u00ed bohu\u017eel vegetari\u00e1nem a nem\u00e1 tedy p\u0159edpoklady k \u00fasp\u011bchu. To je probl\u00e9m. Ide\u00e1ln\u00ed by bylo, kdyby se vegetari\u00e1ny stali pape\u017e, Babi\u0161 i Zeman. To ov\u0161em z\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed na Zemanovi, zda odnau\u010d\u00ed pape\u017ee j\u00edst maso. Pokud se zamysl\u00ed nad situac\u00ed ve sv\u011bt\u011b, m\u011bl by se st\u00e1t vegetari\u00e1nem, v\u0161echno se vy\u0159e\u0161\u00ed a v\u0161echny bytosti budou \u0161\u0165astn\u00e9.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Zden\u011bk
\nPolreich<\/strong><\/span>
\ngastrosexu\u00e1l
\n<\/em><\/span><\/td>\n		\"pohlreich\"<\/a><\/td>\nJe to v\u00fdbornej prezident. Kdybych j\u00e1 sn\u011bdl a vypil za tejden p\u016flku toho, co on za den, tak se mi budou u prdele rojit v\u010dely. A kdy\u017e n\u011bco \u0159ekne, tak je to obvykle takov\u00e1 bomba, \u017ee se z toho venku zastav\u00ed bagry. Akor\u00e1t ten jeho kancl\u00e9\u0159 m\u011b sere. L\u00ednej je jak vandr\u00e1k po vob\u011bd\u011b, hospodu m\u011bl v\u017edycky mizernou, a na hrad\u011b se houpe jak vosl\u00ed penis. Kdyby si m\u00edsto n\u011bj po\u0159\u00eddili metr pa\u0159ezu, tak se mohli aspo\u0148 voh\u0159\u00e1t.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Ladislav V\u00edzek<\/em><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/strong>legenda<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/td>\n		\"1164186-img-sport-fotbal-vizek-exhibice-crop-crop\"<\/td>\nJ\u00e1 bych nezmatkoval. Chci, aby zv\u00edt\u011bzil zdrav\u00fd rozum nad emocemi. S jin\u00fdm prezidentem by byly starosti, st\u00e1lo by to pen\u00edze, d\u011blaly by se nov\u00e9 smlouvy. Zeman na smlouvy ka\u0161le. A nav\u00edc m\u00e1m pocit, \u017ee se do toho stejn\u011b nikdo jin\u00fd nepohrne. Ano, m\u00e1me tu Okamuru, kter\u00fd by mohl b\u00fdt trochu jin\u00fdm prezidentem. Ale Zeman je mysl\u00edm jinej a\u017e a\u017e.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Jarom\u00edr
\nBos\u00e1k<\/strong><\/span>
\nkoment\u00e1tor
\n<\/em><\/span><\/td>\n		\"mira\"<\/td>\nN\u00e1pad ud\u011blat z Milo\u0161e Zemana pomoc\u00ed n\u011bjak\u00e9 kampan\u011b slu\u0161n\u00e9ho \u010dlov\u011bka m\u00e1 se zdrav\u00fdm rozumem asi tolik spole\u010dn\u00e9ho, jako \u010dabajka s racion\u00e1ln\u00ed v\u00fd\u017eivou. Nev\u00edm, ale m\u00e1m pocit, \u017ee rozumn\u00fdch rozhodnut\u00ed neud\u011blal v\u00edc, ne\u017e kolik je prst\u016f na ruce zaslou\u017eil\u00e9ho lesn\u00edho d\u011bln\u00edka po t\u0159iceti letech pr\u00e1ce s pilami v\u0161eho druhu. Tohle by nevymyslel ani David Coperfield sk\u0159\u00ed\u017eenej s chobotnic\u00ed, a kdyby to Myn\u00e1\u0159 \u0159ekl p\u0159ed m\u011bs\u00edcem, byl by r\u00e1d, \u017ee by dostal na ned\u011bli vych\u00e1zky.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Viktor Janukovy\u010d<\/strong>
\ndikt\u00e1tor
\nve v\u00fdslu\u017eb\u011b<\/em><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/td>\n		\"januk\"<\/a><\/td>\nUr\u010dit\u011b lep\u0161\u00edm, ne\u017e t\u0159eba Bandera nebo Poro\u0161enko. Jinak ale p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 dobr\u00fdm prezidentem nen\u00ed. Pokud v\u00edm, nechyst\u00e1 se ani ke z\u0159\u00edzen\u00ed vlastn\u00ed zoologick\u00e9 zahrady. A\u0165 si to, vy \u010ce\u0161i p\u0159izn\u00e1te nebo ne, Zeman je prost\u011b naivn\u00ed pros\u0165\u00e1\u010dek. Je pravda, \u017ee u v\u00e1s prezident nem\u00e1 t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 co ukr\u00e1st, ale i tak jist\u00e9 mo\u017enosti m\u00e1. \u00d3\u00f3\u00f3, jak t\u0159eba V\u00e1clav Klaus um\u011bl obchodovat s milostmi…<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Chuck Norris<\/span><\/strong>
\nfanou\u0161ek \u010desk\u00e9ho prezidenta<\/span><\/em><\/td>\n		\"chuck\"<\/td>\nJe to spr\u00e1vn\u00e1 volba. N\u011bkte\u0159\u00ed lid\u00e9 maj\u00ed jednu mozkovou hemisf\u00e9ru v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e druhou, ale Milo\u0161 Zeman m\u00e1 v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed ob\u011b. Kdy\u017e je \u010dlov\u011bk v nesn\u00e1zi pom\u016f\u017ee mu and\u011bl, kdy\u017e je v nesn\u00e1zi n\u011bkdo jin\u00fd, pom\u016f\u017ee mu Milo\u0161 Zeman.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Bernd
\nPosselt<\/span><\/strong>
\nsudeton\u011bmeck\u00fd Sudeton\u011bmec<\/span><\/em><\/td>\n		\"possl\"<\/a><\/td>\nNyn\u00ed je u\u017e mysl\u00edm docela pravd\u011bpodobn\u00e9, \u017ee spolu lidsk\u00e9 bytosti, N\u011bmci a Milo\u0161 Zeman mohou \u017e\u00edt v m\u00edru. V\u011bt\u0161ina lid\u00ed v \u010cesk\u00e9 republice chce \u017e\u00edt ur\u010dit\u011b v klidu a m\u00edru. Milo\u0161 Zeman je jist\u011b vyp\u00e1tr\u00e1, a postav\u00ed p\u0159ed soud.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Praha \u2013 Kolos\u00e1ln\u00ed \u00fasp\u011bch ujet\u00e9 reklamn\u00ed kampan\u011b na nepiteln\u00e9 pivo nez\u016fstal bez pov\u0161imnut\u00ed ani na Hrad\u011b. Experti z hradn\u00edho antiskand\u00e1ln\u00e1ho t\u00fdmu rozhodli: Zeman se omluv\u00ed kav\u00e1rensk\u00fdm mudrc\u016fm, a bude obl\u00edben\u00fd! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7,16],"tags":[57,33,30,45,29],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1981"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1981"}],"version-history":[{"count":27,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1981\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2031,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1981\/revisions\/2031"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bystrahyena.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}